Attract Real Love Over 40 with the LOVE Pillar
If you’re over 40 and still searching for that real, lasting connection, it can feel like love is always just out of reach. But what if the key to finding it wasn’t about trying harder or being “perfect”? What if it started with embracing your authentic self?In this blog post, I’m diving into the LOVE pillar, the second step in my Let Love In framework. This approach isn’t about chasing unavailable partners or playing games; it’s about transforming your relationship with yourself so you can attract the right kind of love—authentic, healthy, and fulfilling.
What Is the LOVE Pillar?
The LOVE pillar is all about shifting your focus from external validation to internal alignment. It’s about letting go of old patterns, healing emotional wounds, and stepping into self-love and acceptance. When you truly embrace yourself, you make space for a partner who values the real you—not the version you feel pressured to present.
How to Embrace the LOVE Pillar
Here are three essential steps to embody the LOVE pillar in your dating journey:
1. Heal and Forgive Yourself
We’ve all made mistakes in love—whether it’s staying too long in a relationship that wasn’t right or holding onto resentment that weighs us down. The first step in the LOVE pillar is releasing the grip of those past experiences.
Healing doesn’t mean you have to be perfect or “fixed” before dating. It’s about acknowledging your journey with compassion and forgiving yourself for choices you made when you didn’t know better. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the past; it’s about freeing yourself to move forward.
Tip: Journaling about past relationships and the lessons you’ve learned can be a powerful tool for healing.
2. Befriend Your Emotions
Feelings like anger, sadness, or fear often get a bad rap, but suppressing them only creates more tension. Learning to welcome your emotions instead of rejecting them helps you build confidence and recognize your inherent worth.
I’ll never forget the moment I finally allowed myself to feel anger—not just towards others but towards myself. It wasn’t easy, but it was transformative. By sitting with my feelings instead of pushing them away, I gained clarity and strength.
Tip: Practices like EFT tapping or guided meditations can help you process emotions in a healthy, supportive way.
3. Untangle Limiting Beliefs
Many of us have beliefs about love and relationships that keep us stuck. Maybe you think you’re too old to find love, or that being vulnerable will scare people away. These beliefs, often rooted in past experiences, can quietly shape your actions in dating without you even realizing it.
The LOVE pillar encourages you to confront these beliefs, not with judgment, but with curiosity. By shining a light on them, you can begin to replace them with truths that align with your values and desires.
Tip: Shadow work or intuitive journaling can help uncover these hidden beliefs and reframe them into empowering truths.
Reflective Questions to Support Your Growth
- What fears arise when you think about fully accepting yourself?
- How might self-love change your approach to dating?
- What steps can you take today to start embracing the LOVE pillar?
Why the LOVE Pillar Matters
You don’t need to chase love to find it. When you commit to loving yourself, you naturally attract a partner who values you for who you are—not for how much you try to fit into their expectations.
The LOVE pillar isn’t just about finding love; it’s about creating a deep connection with yourself. That connection lays the foundation for healthier, more fulfilling relationships with others.
Ready to Let Love In?
In episode 11 of my podcast, I’ll dive into the final pillar of the Let Love In framework. It’s the ultimate step in transforming your dating life and attracting the partner you deserve.
Remember, love isn’t as far away as it seems—it’s closer than you think. Start by embracing the LOVE pillar, and watch how your life begins to shift.
Let’s do this together—because you are worthy of real, lasting love. 💖
